


Flowers While I Live

by cherryjae



Category: ITZY (Band), MCND (Band), Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Best Friends, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25893970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryjae/pseuds/cherryjae
Summary: Minjae just wanted a happy life, but his feelings didn't allowed it...One day, Minjae is diagnosed with a terminal illness which no one has never seen before. The symptoms were peculiar and they hadn't investigated a disease like that yet. But one day, Minjae started coughing up flower petals.
Relationships: Nam Seungmin | BIC & Song Minjae
Kudos: 9





	1. the diagnosis

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first work in English because my first language is not English. Anyways, hope you like it. <3
> 
> Also, you can find this work on other platforms. 
> 
> Maybe I'll post this work also in Spanish^^

I felt how Seungmin hyung nervously squeezed my hand, his fingers trapping mine. My mother sitting in a chair next to me, rubbing her forehead desperately waiting for the doctor's answer.

"Mrs. Song, I cannot specify the disease because your son has symptoms and characteristics that have not been seen before in any field of medicine... The only thing I can say for now is that your son suffers from some type of terminal illness not yet investigated." The man's thick and calm voice filled the entire room.

"How have you never seen something like this?" I glanced at Seungmin. Little tears were running down his cheeks and that caused my heart to shrink and my chest to ache.

"You can't tell us that, there must be something that is known apart from that my son is suffering from something so serious," my mother complained, getting up from her chair.

"I will send all the results to the laboratory again and they will investigate to find out what is happening in your son , Mrs. Song" The man kept the papers with all the information and the results in a black folder with my name and surname on it .

Song Minjae.

"Mom, I think it would be a good idea for us to go ... Maybe they will quickly find a solution to all this and a treatment" I spoke in a thin thread of voice.

"Okay, but I hope that when I get back to this place, they already have answers." She turned around and her brown hair tied in a high ponytail, gently hit the tower of papers that was on the doctor's desk.

Seungmin looked at me with a worried face and I just shook my head and then gently caressed her right cheek.

"Everything will be fine. In less than we expect, they will find everything they need to help me." A soft smile crossed my face, seeking my best friend to calm down.

The three of us left the office, my mother walked taking strong steps to indicate her annoyance while Seungmin just limited himself to holding my hand.

We got into my mother's car, she was driving and we sat in the back. I rested my head on Seungmin's shoulder, taking advantage of the fact that he was shorter than me. I stroked the back of his hand gently as he looked forward.

Once we got home, Seungmin said goodbye to my mother and me and then walked a couple of streets up.

My mother opened the door to the house and I went in slowly, I didn't really want to do anything. I went upstairs to my room and when I got to it, I closed the door and then threw myself on the bed.

I was staring at the ceiling when I started to feel my face getting wet.

I was crying without knowing it.

I brought my hands up to my face and began to wipe the salty tears that were falling down my face.

I finally gave up and allowed all those tears to pour out of my eyes as sobs were ripped from my throat.

I closed my eyes and the ceiling of my room was the last thing I saw that day.


	2. problematic classes

It was Monday and I had to attend classes, I had spent much of the weekend locked in my room because of what the doctor had told me. I wanted to stay locked up and forget about everything, but I couldn't. I had to fight and move on.

As I dressed, I was thinking about the symptoms that had been found on me. Chest pain, severe headaches, shortness of breath ... I guess I was a peculiar case.

That morning I felt like something was stirring in my chest, but I decided to ignore it.

I said goodbye to my mother and took all my things to go to high school. I started running since I saw that I was late but from one moment to another I started suffocating. I decided to stop running and continue the small section that was left walking. Upon arriving at high school, I met Sungjun and Huijun talking at the front door.

"Aren't you late for class, hyung?" I asked with a frown as I looked at Sungjun.

"First of all, good morning," Sungjun began. "Second, no, we are not late. It's half past and we start at forty-five" Sungjun replied with a wide smile on his face.

"Wait, it's half past?" I looked at them with wide eyes surprised.

"Uhm, yeah. What time did you think it was?" Huijun chuckled.

"I thought it was fifty..." I shrugged in embarrassment and they shook their heads while laughing softly.

"Look, here comes your beloved Seungmin," Sungjun crooned as he nudged my shoulder insistently.

"Don't say that, he's going to listen to you," I complained, blushing up to my ears. I frowned and crossed my arms in embarrassment.

"Oh, come on. Why don't you declare yourself already?" and that was Huijun bringing his face close to mine.

"Because I know he's going to reject me... He doesn't feel the same way I do and he's always talking about someone he likes" I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Hey, guys! Seungmin high-fives Huijun and Sungjae and then gently hugged me. Are you okay? I see you something red." He placed his forehead on mine causing me to blush even more. "Wow... You're burning, you don't have a fever, right?"

I quickly shook my head and he nodded and then looked at me seriously.

"If you feel sick or anything happens, let me know, okay?" He whispered close to my ear and I nodded.

"Should we go in now or wait for Junhyuk? He is always on time and I don't want to be late because of him," I complained as I crossed my arms and Sungjun shook his head.

"Go with Seungmin, we wait for it," Sungjun said and I thanked him and then run towards the building being followed by Seungmin.

"Don't go so fast, you can hurt yourself," my best friend scolded.

I snorted and shook my head.

"Hyung, I can take care of myself," I replied, and then ran to the classroom.

Upon arrival I sat at my desk and waited with my classmates for it to be time to start the class. Professor Lee entered the classroom and began to write all the topics that we would discuss today in history.

I started feeling dizzy after about ten minutes and the girl next to me, Yuna, stung my shoulder.

"You want me to tell Professor Lee?" she asked me in a soft whisper. "I say this because you do not make a very good face and you are somewhat pale."

I shook my head as I clutched my uniform shirt when my chest began to ache next to my heart. At that moment Seungmin hyung came to mind and I started coughing.

I felt something scrape my throat. The gazes of my classmates were on me and Professor Lee's as well.

From one moment to another something started to come out of my mouth along with my cough.

They all looked at me in surprise and with their mouths open. Yuna's mouth was open so wide that she swore her lower jaw was resting on the wooden floor of the classroom.

I didn't understand why so much surprise until I saw the pink petals come out of my mouth every time I coughed. Scared, I closed my mouth and felt the petals accumulate inside it. I opened it again and the petals fell.

I didn't understand what was happening.

I closed my eyes to rub them hard not believing what was happening, but I felt myself fall to the ground.


	3. petals?

I woke up on one of the high school infirmary stretchers somewhat confused. Next to me was Yuna, my classmate. The girl's brown hair hid a small part of her face.

"Are you better?" She asked, approaching me, her face full of concern. "They called your mother and she says that in ten minutes she will be here... I've never seen someone cough and get petals coming out before," the girl confessed, surprised.

"Well, neither do I" I gave a soft laugh trying to relax Yuna. "If my mother is on the way, I suppose she will take me directly to the doctor. I should tell Seungmin hyung," I declared.

"If you want, I'll let him know so you can get ready for when your mother arrives," she suggested and I agreed with the idea.

Yuna left the infirmary to go looking for Seungmin while I sat on the stretcher and took my backpack, which was next to it. I got off the gurney and left to walk through the gleaming white hallways of the institute. Arriving at the entrance to it, I found my mother walking briskly in her black stiletto heels.

They were the ones she used to go to work since she worked in a fairly luxurious clothing store. When she saw me, she ran to me as if nothing else mattered to her and I was the only thing there.

She hugged me tightly and stroked my reddish hair. I responded in the same way. She pulled away and still having her arms around my shoulders, she began to speak.

"Is it true that you've started coughing up petals?" She asked incredulously.

"Well, yes and it's something quite strange... My chest hurt when I started coughing," I explained, grabbing the part of the uniform shirt that was on my chest.

"Come on, I've already called the hospital. They're going to give you an exam since they thought I was crazy when I told them about the petals, ”she concluded, and we left the institute on our way to the car.

We got on and my mother started driving to the hospital. I leaned my arm on the car door and looked out the window as he began to hum a song.

When we got to the hospital, the doctor from the last time treated us. The man was sitting while he read the report that had been made to him regarding my condition.

"So you coughed up petals?" He raised one of his eyebrows as he looked at us over the paper.

"That's what his history teacher told me on the phone. He says his chest hurts too, ”my mother explained as she sat in one of the chairs in front of the doctor's table.

"And I suppose she wants us to X-ray him." The doctor rolled his eyes when my mother nodded. "You know it's impossible for your child to cough petals, right?" He rested his elbows on the table and clasped his hands.

"I thought that but... He is my son and I am concerned that it may be true. I don't think your institute is playing a joke on us, ”my mother replied with a serious expression on her face.

"Okay, we'll do the X-ray but don't be surprised if it finally comes out that there's nothing and that they were just kidding you," he said, getting up from his chair.

My mother got up and then me. We both walked behind the doctor, leaving the office. The corridors in the hospital were white with sky blue details. The floor was white and sparkling clean.

He led us into a room that was divided in two by a wall with a display case. The doctor ordered me to put on a gown of the kind that were hanging on the wall. I took one and it smelled just like a nurse. I put it on and then followed the doctor's instructions.

I went into the small room behind the display case and went into a machine that was the one that would take the X-ray.

The machine started working and doing its job. Shortly after it stopped and I was able to leave it to go back to where my mother and the doctor were. I took off my gown and threw it in a bucket full of used gowns.

"Well, now I'm going to call one of the nurses to get the X-ray for me." He left the room for a couple of seconds and entered.

My mother attached me to her as she gently hugged my shoulders with her right arm. She started rubbing my right arm with her hand.

"I hope it's really a joke and you don't have a garden in there," she confessed, glancing at me.

"I would never joke about illness, Mom," I declared.

A nurse opened the door to the ward and handed a large brown envelope to the doctor. He opened it and took out the X-rays. Seeing them, the man paled.

" Unbelievable. "


	4. floral lungs

* * *

The doctor showed us the X-ray and in it we could see how my lungs were full of flower petals. My mother frowned as she looked at the x-ray of my chest.

"Wow, it seems that you do have a garden in there, but why...?" She asked now looking at the doctor.

He shook his head and then laid the X-ray on a small table.

"This is impossible... How...?" He looked at me incredulously. "How did those petals get there...?"

"I don't know... I never thought that I would have petals in my lungs, much less that the cause of my supposed terminal illness was these..." I answered, observing from a distance the X-ray that was on the table.

"You are an enigma for medicine right now ... I must contact my superiors," he said before leaving the room with the X-ray in one hand.

My mother and I left shortly after and walked to the waiting room. We sat down and not ten minutes passed when I heard someone call my name.

"Minjae-ssi!" Seungmin hyung's voice was present. I turned my face and saw him running towards us with his face sweaty and his bangs stuck to his forehead. "Minjae-ssi! How are you?" He stopped in front of us panting. He rested his hands on his knees, curving his back and lowering his head for air.

"I had an X-ray and they found something incredible in my lungs, hyung," I replied to Seungmin as I looked at him and felt my cheeks blush slightly.

"What have they found?" He asked once he had caught his breath.

"They have found petals and flowers inside my lungs," I replied and he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't joke, Minjae," he scolded me.

"He's not kidding, it's the truth." My mother looked at Seungmin and he frowned.

"Is that even possible?" He asked confused and we both shrugged, not knowing what to answer.

"Song Minjae?" A blonde girl with dark eyes and feline gaze called out to me.

"I," I raised my hand and was about to get up when the girl approached us.

"I come to look for you to be admitted immediately, they are going to operate to remove your flowers immediately," she announced and my mother looked at her confused.

"With what permission?" My mother asked.

"Ma'am, it's so your son can live. If not, the flowers will continue to grow until they occupy all of his lungs and suffocate him, ”she explained, glancing at my mother.

She told a nurse to bring her a wheelchair and then make me get in it and take me to a room being followed by my mother and Seungmin hyung.

They made me change into only underwear and a robe. Shortly after, I was in the operating room.

"Is this your first time having surgery?" Asked a man with a mask on his face.

I nodded. When I was going to speak, I lost consciousness.


	5. disappearance and appearance

I woke up in the hospital room. My mother wasn't there and Seungmin was sleeping on the little sofa.

He looked so cute.

I looked around and for a moment I no longer felt the pressure on my chest. I felt free. Did they really get rid of all those flowers? I lifted my robe and found a long scar on my chest which hurt a bit.

The door was opened and my mother entered, when she saw me awake she approached me with tears in her eyes.

"You finally woke up, darling," she let out with a soft sob.

"Good morning, Mom," I smiled slightly.

"Good night, you'll say, you've been sleeping most of the day since this morning," she explained and I looked at her in surprise.

"Well, it's the first time I've been sleeping that much." I giggled and she shook her head.

"You must be tired yet, try not to move much. I'll be here and if you want we can put something on TV."

"Why is Seungmin hyung still here?" I questioned looking at my hyung sleeping peacefully on the couch while hugging her backpack.

"He said he would not leave until you were fine, even that he would skip classes and then ask his classmate Hyunjin for his homework," she replied, wiping her tears quietly and then sitting in a chair next to me.

"But he can't stay here, he must go to class."

"I know, then I'll take him home and come back, okay?" He caressed one of my cheeks.

I nodded slightly and lay back down, then turned my gaze to the television. My mother turned on the device and together we started looking for a channel to pass the time.

I started to ramble when my mother put on a TV drama.

Why was that happening to me? Why flowers? It was supposed to be impossible...

At least everything was solved...

I looked at Seungmin and saw him start to wake up. He yawned and I gave a lovely little giggle when I saw him.

"Seungminnie hyung," I crooned to make him wake up.

He sat down on the couch and scratched his head and then looked at me with a soft smile.

"Baby bear," he crooned in a hoarse voice from having previously slept.

My mother looked at him.

"Seungmin, keep an eye on Minjae while I go to the bathroom," she said, leaving the room, which confused me since there was already a bathroom in this room.

Seungmin saw my mother leave and then he approached me to place a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Did you rest?" He asked as he stroked my hair.

"Uhm, a little ... I'm still a bit tired but I can't sleep all day" I looked at him with a soft smile.

"Luckily Yuna told me and Hyunjin covered me, otherwise I couldn't have come to see you," he whispered now, caressing one of my cheeks.

I felt my face flush violently and my skin burned.

Seungmin closed his eyes for an instant and I brought my face close to his and then watched his lips closely. Seungmin was about to open his eyes when I placed my lips on his.

It didn't take long for Seungmin to part from the kiss and looked at me with a frown.

"What?" He asked with some annoyance.

"I-I'm sorry," I replied with a shrug.

The bedroom door was opened again and when my mother entered, the coughing returned.

And thousands of petals came out of me.


	6. time

They said that I was only going to be hospitalized for a couple of days, but two months had already passed... They had operated on me several times to remove the petals but each time they did it, they reappeared shortly after.

I started to get tired, my body was filling with scars and my chest was getting heavier.

I want to go home.

I want to go back a long time.

I want to go back to those times when I lived happily.

I want to be me again.

Time passed and every day became more boring. My mother had to take time off work to take care of me, and my friends came to visit me often. Since the day of the kiss, things between Seungmin and I hadn't improved.

My chest hurts so much thinking about it ...

I wish Seungmin could have loved me as much as I loved him. Surely he was dating someone at that time since every time he came he had a big smile on his face. Or maybe he was happy to see me...

It was probably the first.

The door of the room was opened and a nurse entered with the doctor with whom she had spoken so much in these two months.

"Minjae, we can't do anything else. The operations are useless and we do not want to damage your body more... We have calculated that you have two days to live since your chest this time has produced many more flowers than the previous ones..." the man spoke, lowering his head low. the look of my mother.

My mother then turned to look at me and I smiled slightly at her.

Was I ready?

The man motioned for my mother to come out to talk to her when my friends entered the room.

"Minjae, good morning," Huijun snapped, grinning widely.

Sungjun, Junhyuk, Huijun and Seungmin were in front of me. Huijun held a notebook in his hands.

"We bought this for you to write down everything you think and everything you would like to do when you get out of this situation," Junhyuk explained looking at me with a smile that made him look like a bunny.

Huijun handed me the notebook and I took it carefully and then caressed the cover of it.

Someone cleared his throat.

I raised my face and saw everyone looking at Seungmin.

Why were they smiling uncomfortably?

"Minjae, don't you know what happened today?" He asked cheerfully and I looked at him curiously. "Someone has proposed to me and asked me to go on a date."

And at that moment I felt my chest hurt much more strongly, but I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to ruin his happiness.

"Oh yeah...? And who is it?" I asked trying to get the words out.

"It turns out that Hyunjin helped me so much because he liked me and I am very glad that he has declared since he is quite cute. I'll go out with him on Friday,” he explained cheerfully.

That day was Wednesday and I only had two more days ...

Sungjun shook his head and looked apologetically at me. I shook my head and indicated with a simple nod to downplay it.

We all hung out together and little by little, as it got late, they started to leave. The first was Seungmin, after him Huijun and Sungjun left.

Junhyuk stayed with me.

"It must be disgusting," he blurted out and I looked at him confused. "The fact that he doesn't know about your feelings and is unconsciously trampling on them, ”he clarified.

"It's not his fault either... He doesn't know," I replied with a shrug.

"Do you know? I've been looking about the petal thing and I found something quite interesting… ” He walked over to me and sat down in a chair. "There is an old Japanese legend in which it explains that in the past, flowers were born from the lungs and heart of someone when the love they felt was unilateral, that is, unrequited. At that time, it was possible to heal if the feelings were reciprocated or with a kind of ritual which was similar to surgery ... There were cases in which when eliminating the flowers the person stopped loving the person they once loved, but there were also cases in which the person no longer had the capacity to love anyone. ”He paused for a second and sighed. In your case, I think your feelings are so strong that the flowers have managed to bloom again.

"Are you saying that this is all because of my feelings towards Seungmin? It can't be, like you said, it's a legend. ”I crossed my arms and he shrugged.

"Until not long ago it was impossible to have flowers in the lungs, but look at you" was the last thing he said before getting up. I have to go home, see you soon.

And they all said goodbye with a "see you soon" without knowing that this would be the last day they would see me.


	7. flowers while i live

" _I don't think anyone expected me to leave so soon, much less not to warn... Sorry for not telling you, Seungmin hyung, but I didn't want you to skip that important date._

_I've been in love with you since I was ten, weird, right? How could a child fall in love? It was the day we both went out to the beach in the afternoon when we were in Jeju on vacation with my mother and the others. You looked gorgeous in the dim evening light. At that moment I felt my heart beat like never before, with tremendous force... I thought it would jump out of my chest._

_Now, my heart hardly works anymore, they have detected flowers in it and I feel my pulse less and less. This letter is the last thing I will write and it is addressed to you._

_Thank you for everything, for your hugs, for your laughs, for your smiles, for your bad jokes, for your absurd games... Thank you for taking care of me, for being with me when I needed it most._

_The last day you came, Junhyuk told me about a Japanese legend that defined our relationship and my condition, amazing isn't it? It turns out that centuries ago, it was said that when someone loved a person but those feelings were one-sided, flowers grew in their lungs and heart... These could be extracted with a ritual and when that was carried out, the feelings towards that person they disappeared completely. Although there was also the possibility that the affected person could not love again._

_My feelings were so strong that not even the operations could with the flowers. I died asphyxiated by the love I felt for you._

_I'm really sorry for failing you, I should have learned to control my feelings and never noticed you... I'm sorry but I love you so much..._

_My hand begins to shake, it's time for me to stop writing ..._

_— Minjae_ "

***

That same day, Seungmin was found in his home garden lying on the ground with a large flower coming out of his mouth.


End file.
